Managing My Anxiety

I’m currently interviewing for jobs and had an onsite interview today. Yesterday afternoon I was getting ready to do some preparation, and when I turned on my computer it had the dreaded screen of death. It gave me three options to fix it and none of them worked.

I tried to make an appointment with Apple Care, but all of the appointments were full until Saturday. I tried to call tech support, but I really needed to get on the road to beat traffic, so I knew I didn’t have time at the moment to take care of it.

I started to spiral into feelings of panic, stress, and general hopelessness. I felt that without my computer I would surely bomb the interview because I couldn’t do research or access all the preparation materials I have on my desktop.

As I left the Apple store almost in tears, I became very aware of what was happening. I knew rationally that all the panic, stress and negative thoughts were not going to help, but only exacerbate the downward spiral.

Walking to the car I consciously took long inhales and exhales, and I thought rationally about the consequences of not having a functioning computer. Did I really need it?

Turns out that after thinking about it, I had everything I needed. I had hand written my notes from the first call with the company, I had printed out most of the preparation materials, and I had my phone to use for research.

As I began to drive I felt a bit more calm, and after 40 minutes on the road I decided to find a coffee shop with WiFi to call tech support and get it figured out. I knew it wouldn’t take long, and that in reality it wasn’t a real problem.

I had a nice chat with the barista, ordered a tea, and found a comfy chair to relax into as I got ready to call tech support. I opened my computer, pressed power, and it booted up as it does on any other day. No problem at all.

Although I had no control of the computer, realizing that I could control my reaction to the situation was very empowering. I did what I could do to control my own stress and anxiety, and it made me realize that there was no real reason to panic. And maybe the computer picked up on it too!

I can’t say it works every time, but really focusing on my breath and rationalizing worst case scenarios is something that has helped me immensely to calm down and reduce my anxiety. Oftentimes what I build up as a disaster is not actually anything to stress about, or the stress will only make it worse.

In fact, I got to use those skills again this morning! I arrived to the neighborhood of my interview an hour and a half early to drink a coffee and continue my preparation. 45 minutes before my interview time I got a call from the company asking if I was still interested in interviewing.

Because of the time difference from California, my calendar had told me that my interview started an hour later that it actually did. I had a moment of panic and embarrassment, of course, but as I drove the 6 minutes from the coffee shop, knowing that I was now late instead of my usual 10-15 minutes early, I took long, deep breathes and just tried to relax.

Sometimes we can’t change a situation. I couldn’t take back time. All I could do was arrive as clam as possible instead of stressed and flustered. And I think I did much better in the interview than I would have done if I let the panic get the best of me.

I constantly remind myself to just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Relax.

Another great way to reduce stress and anxiety is to get outside and walk or do yoga.