Childlike Mentality

As I practice yoga I try to maintain a beginners mindset. Today I had the perfect opportunity to do just that because I took a new style of yoga class. It was very fast paced, hot, in a dark room lit primarily by candles, and the teacher had a microphone which was somewhat hard to understand.

At one point the teacher said to go into high lunge, but I went into high plank. I didn’t realize for a while, and when I looked around and realized that I was in the wrong pose I laughed to myself and moved into high lunge to join the class.

We also worked on handstands, which I’ve never done very successfully and which I have’t practiced in a long time. I gave it a go anyway and ended up falling, but was very happy with the progress that I was making. Instead of focusing on falling or “failing,” I was pumped that I could hold it as long as I did.

A couple weeks ago when I was in Boulder, one of my favorite classes that I took while there had the theme of childlike play. The teacher encouraged us to try new balances or poses that we were afraid of or didn’t think we could do. Embracing that childlike mentality of no fear to try something new, even if I thought I’d fall, I was able to do many more poses than I realized, even a few cool arm balances!

The message of harnessing the spirit of not caring about failing and jumping in with both feet to try new things continues to inspire me in my practice. The next time that you’re afraid of failing or falling or not being able to keep up, I encourage you to just go for it!

Embracing the childlike spirit in me when I was on a road trip with my brother.

Compassion Over Comparison

I’m generally not much of a crier, so it’s funny that this and the last post have both stemmed from me crying. I tend to bottle up my emotions (which I’m working on not doing), and sometimes during yoga, when I feel very vulnerable, the tears come uncontrollably.

I also tend to have a fairly good level of self confidence, but like any human, there are things I struggle with.

This morning in yoga class I was practicing next to a woman who seemingly had all the things I want that I don’t have: flexibility, the slim yet curvy “yoga body,” and she seemed very grounded and focused on what she was doing. At the beginning of class as I was looking around to see what everyone was doing around me, she had her eyes closed and seemed very focused.

At one point towards the end of class during a hip opening stretch, it sounded like she was crying. I wasn’t positive, but it definitely sounded like it.

As I listened to her quietly wipe tears and sniffle, I myself began to tear up uncontrollably and unexpectedly. At first I wasn’t even sure why.

I started to think about what prompted this response, and I realized that instead of thinking this woman had it all, I began to feel compassion for her.  This moment made me realize that you never know what other people are struggling with or going through.

Rather than assume that others have it all figured out just because they seemingly have something you don’t think you do, it’s important to realize that we are all humans, and we all have our own struggles and problems.

It’s definitely not easy, but I will continue to focus on feeling compassion for others rather than feeling envious or comparing myself to them.

A picture from a recent road trip with my brother in Northern California. Trinity Lake.

Managing My Anxiety

I’m currently interviewing for jobs and had an onsite interview today. Yesterday afternoon I was getting ready to do some preparation, and when I turned on my computer it had the dreaded screen of death. It gave me three options to fix it and none of them worked.

I tried to make an appointment with Apple Care, but all of the appointments were full until Saturday. I tried to call tech support, but I really needed to get on the road to beat traffic, so I knew I didn’t have time at the moment to take care of it.

I started to spiral into feelings of panic, stress, and general hopelessness. I felt that without my computer I would surely bomb the interview because I couldn’t do research or access all the preparation materials I have on my desktop.

As I left the Apple store almost in tears, I became very aware of what was happening. I knew rationally that all the panic, stress and negative thoughts were not going to help, but only exacerbate the downward spiral.

Walking to the car I consciously took long inhales and exhales, and I thought rationally about the consequences of not having a functioning computer. Did I really need it?

Turns out that after thinking about it, I had everything I needed. I had hand written my notes from the first call with the company, I had printed out most of the preparation materials, and I had my phone to use for research.

As I began to drive I felt a bit more calm, and after 40 minutes on the road I decided to find a coffee shop with WiFi to call tech support and get it figured out. I knew it wouldn’t take long, and that in reality it wasn’t a real problem.

I had a nice chat with the barista, ordered a tea, and found a comfy chair to relax into as I got ready to call tech support. I opened my computer, pressed power, and it booted up as it does on any other day. No problem at all.

Although I had no control of the computer, realizing that I could control my reaction to the situation was very empowering. I did what I could do to control my own stress and anxiety, and it made me realize that there was no real reason to panic. And maybe the computer picked up on it too!

I can’t say it works every time, but really focusing on my breath and rationalizing worst case scenarios is something that has helped me immensely to calm down and reduce my anxiety. Oftentimes what I build up as a disaster is not actually anything to stress about, or the stress will only make it worse.

In fact, I got to use those skills again this morning! I arrived to the neighborhood of my interview an hour and a half early to drink a coffee and continue my preparation. 45 minutes before my interview time I got a call from the company asking if I was still interested in interviewing.

Because of the time difference from California, my calendar had told me that my interview started an hour later that it actually did. I had a moment of panic and embarrassment, of course, but as I drove the 6 minutes from the coffee shop, knowing that I was now late instead of my usual 10-15 minutes early, I took long, deep breathes and just tried to relax.

Sometimes we can’t change a situation. I couldn’t take back time. All I could do was arrive as clam as possible instead of stressed and flustered. And I think I did much better in the interview than I would have done if I let the panic get the best of me.

I constantly remind myself to just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Relax.

Another great way to reduce stress and anxiety is to get outside and walk or do yoga.

Community

Living in Mykonos was a great opportunity for me to develop and grow my self yoga practice, as well as begin teaching yoga to others. I learned so much, but there was something missing. Since there are no yoga studios on the island, I didn’t have the chance to take any group classes, and I really missed being part of a yoga community.

When I stay with my parents in Newcastle, there’s a yoga studio nearby that I visit regularly. From the first class I took there I instantly felt at home. The teachers there are all amazing, but there is also a strong sense of community. People are friendly, they make jokes in class, they laugh, and we all sweat together. Even as a visitor I truly feel welcomed into and a part of the community.

In class today, right before savanna we were in a very intense hamstring and hip opening stretch. Ooh Child came on and the person next to me started quietly singing along. As I was trying to breathe and release into the pose, listening to the words of the song and seeing my neighbor sing along made me tear up. Even though I didn’t know her, seeing her sing and feeling the power of the song brought me to tears.

I’m in a very emotional and somewhat stressful transition state in my life, and I felt as if she was there in support of me, almost like she was singing to me.

There’s something very special about being part of a community and feeling close to people who you don’t necessarily know. After class I told my neighbor what happened, and she was very grateful that I shared it with her. Sometimes we don’t realize how powerful even the littlest things we do are, and how they can affect others.

It’s fitting that it’s the holiday season, but I am feeling so grateful that I have a community that I can be a part of every time I visit my parents, and I look forward to finding a community to join once I put down some roots.

The sign outside of Yoga Reclaimed is very fitting <3

Done is Better than Perfect

I try to do yoga every day. I truly enjoy it, and I always notice that I’m happier after I practice, whether I do a full hour or a shorter practice.

One thing that I’ve been struggling with, though, is the feeling that in order to do “yoga,” I need to commit to it fully and carry out the entire ritual. I change into yoga clothes, lay out the mat, commit to a specific amount of time, and then I feel like I’m doing what I’m “supposed to do.”

The problem with this way of thinking, is that sometimes I don’t feel like doing the entire ritual.

There are days that instead of spending 10-20 minutes doing light stretching and breathing, which I know will make my day better, I don’t do anything at all because I think that I’m not doing yoga unless I carry out the entire ritual.

The truth is, sometimes I just want to sit on the couch and stretch and breathe for 10 minutes. And that’s yoga! And it’s OK!

It’s actually better than OK. Even after a few minutes of breathing and stretching I feel better. There’s no reason to think that I need to wait until I can carry out the entire ritual to practice yoga.

I know it’s a common saying, but it’s very true that done is better than perfect. It’s better for me to do 10-15 minutes of breathing and stretching (which is yoga!), than to wait until I can commit to the entire ritual.

Today I did some very light stretching, and I think the cats picked up on my positive energy, because they all wanted to be close. <3